Into the Gender Blender: JOdY-iSm #18

A Mom’s Versatility

In Honor of any “MOM” who:

-Can deal with a bouncing baby, an about-to-bounce check, bounce her work schedule, and don her sports bra so she doesn’t bounce too much while running around.

-Could solve our country’s deficit by teaching our House & Senate how to stretch a George Washington further across the Delaware.

-Reminds us all how she told us so while multi-tasking to resolve the issue with the so-and-so.

-Paints her toe nails while responding to mounds of e-mails and selecting her favorite pinterest thumbnails.

-Is positive she has the right to take you out of this world if you get too sassy because she wasn’t feeling so sassy the day she brought you into it – but she did it anyway.

-Is certain that no one is ever good enough for you – and you are better than anyone out there actually deserves (but this probably won’t stop her from trying to get in your business and/or set you up) – remember, we love her anyway!

-Stands in harm’s way when the microwave is running or if anyone dare consider putting damaging preservatives inside your body.

-Never disowns you, regardless of the number of stray animals, body piercings, tattoos, or bad choices you came home sporting.

-Never, ever, ever leaves you. Long after her physical presence has grown weary of being caged in this temporal realm, her legacy lives on and spreads in all those hearts she’s captured.

-Is always out of this world wonderful – BECAUSE WE SAID SO!!!!!

HAPPY MOM’S DAY!!!

Sometimes “moms” never have children. They are the special women (and sometimes even men!) in our lives who extend themselves to us and love us even when we’re undeserving. They may even be close in age to us. They have lived, loved, and lost. But when we’re near them, we know we have gained.

Growing Wisdom Teeth – Take it From Me

One of the daily prompts this week was: What’s the best piece of advice you’ve given someone that you failed to take yourself?

One of the most worthy pieces of advice that I try to dispense to myself to follow is this:

Never follow another’s advice if that individual hasn’t tried this suggestion out on/for him/herself first. Then assure that individual is trustworthy when you ask how things worked out. 

Case in point.  My youngest son is in the unfortunate position of having two older and seemingly more life-experienced brothers who enjoy doling out unsolicited advice to him about “women.” He’s found that some of this advice hasn’t served him so well, though. For instance, recently, when young friends of the female persuasion asked him and other male counterparts to go to a middle school dance, he and his friends quickly came to learn that, “I’ll get back to you – I’m keeping my options open” didn’t have the mundane explanatory effect they had anticipated from the advice that had been given.

Here’s what I do consider to be a worthy piece of advice that I wish I’d followed in younger years:

Recently, my friend’s beautiful, thin teenage daughter was distraught because her boyfriend told her she probably needed to run some extra laps. As my friend and I were commiserating about why women allow themselves to be torn down in this way, I dispensed the following advice to the daughter (that I wish I’d taken for myself when I was her age and dealing with jerks who felt it necessary to tear down others’ self-esteem to make themselves feel better):  I told her to thank her ‘self-declared gift to women’ for his suggestion and then make one of her own that, while she was out running extra laps, he should think about going and swimming a few – and he should be sure to keep his mouth open while giving out his advice – preferably while his head was under the water. (I can now – later in life – defer to my opening statement on this one, as I learned to become fairly proficient at telling suck-the-life-out-of-you suitors to ‘go take a hike’ at an exponentially faster rate throughout the years.)

And here’s a piece of advice that I haven’t yet tried, but think it’s worth a shot. This is for women who find they have been designated as the official ‘Changer of the TP’ in the household:

Ladies, the reason your men don’t change out the empty toilet paper rolls is because they perceive them as too soft and safe to be categorized as a manly project. Here’s your helpful hint to get the job done: Simply adjust your dispenser so the inner spring comes flying out at a ridiculously high velocity and indeterminate angle, whereas personal protective equipment would be required to minimize the chance of injuries. If your man perceives this challenge to be dangerous enough to take out an eye (or perhaps even a testicle), then he’ll deem the t.p. roll worthy of being changed.

Let me know how these work out for you…

For more pieces of advice (good, bad or otherwise), visit the Daily Prompt here.

Hallo-Weenie! Into the Gender Blender: JOdY-iSm #82

In Honor of October as National Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Waging War in Shearing Pink

She was a mother, she was a sister,

She was a cousin, she was a friend;

The woman who became the warrior.

Took up her armor, wielded her weapons,

Yelled out the battle cry – it had no end.

 

No time for training, no choice to fight,

Not for herself, but for her loved ones,

Dying – not an option to consider.

Too soon to leave, too late to quit,

Woman up – for both daughters and for sons.

 

Enemy raged, body grew tired,

By her choice, a part was given; she was lost.

Though twice the fighter she’d ever been,

The soldier felt reduced to half a woman –

Scarred, the only way to win. Her cost.

 

One, two, three – then five years came,

Combatant attitude, with her life, reconstructed.

Official duty served, clearance papers signed;

Yet, still she wages war, bearing her arms – –

For sisters’ battles, more lives refusing to be destructed.

© 2012 Jody Love

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Author’s Note

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Dedicated to those many ladies I’ve the had the privilege to know through the years who have valiantly gone to battle against their breast cancer. For many, the physical battle took its toll; for others, battle cries of victory have abounded. In both cases, the war is not lost, as each of these precious ladies will one day attest. 

In the midst of the war, however, eternal alliances have often been forged, as these women march one another on, run one another on, encourage one another on – on towards the imminent victory!

Feel free to use the comments section to PINK LIST any brave woman you know and love who has fought this battle.

Here’s a link to the National Breast Cancer Awareness Month site.

Into the Gender Blender: JOdY-iSm #18