Statistically Speaking…

A very quick one for Trifecta this week. No doubt you’ll all know what’s on my mind…and plate!

The week 111 challenge is the inclusion of the one-word prompt (3rd definition):

MANIPULATE (transitive verb)

1: to treat or operate with or as if with the hands or by mechanical means especially in a skillful manner
2a : to manage or utilize skillfully
b : to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one’s own advantage
3: to change by artful or unfair means so as to serve one’s purpose : to doctor

– See more at: http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/#sthash.968mUYWJ.dpuf

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Did you just infer how dare I try to manipulate you?! HA!

After you had the nerve to suggest to me this variable relationship we’ve had going all this time wasn’t…significant?

In my current mode of distrust, all I have to say is, ‘Skew You!’

I’ve spent the range of my median career collecting every little morsel of mean-ing about you; the sum of my half-life chasing your outlying whims; my downtime became a product of trudging through your worthless probabilities!!

…hours upon hours wasted as I tried to work on the problems between us…

And you want me to just accept it?!

Chi-square up, Data! You’re out of your theoretically distributed little mind if you think I’m not about to go Pearson on you…down to your last dirty, descriptive decimal.

Oh yeah, you’d better believe I’m pitching a goodness of fit!!!  Why, I’ll t-test terrorize you ’til you give me exactly what I’m looking for.

You want your degrees of freedom?? Then you’d better expect that your p-value will be utterly worthless when I get done with my regression of you!

You wanna’ see null? I’ll show you null…just before I go post hoc on you!

That’s how the ANOVA rolls, baby.

After all, you know what they say…

To err is human;

to manipulate is research.