The reason I could fall in love with so many women, so many times, was because I could fall out of it just as quickly. The concept of any permanence in a shared lifelong relationship seemed pretty mundane to me. I invented my ideal soul mate to be an unobtainable phantom of perfection I was sure I could only envision in my mind, a sensual conglomeration of all the very best traits I liked most about each of my other temporal partners, while utterly void of all their irritating annoyances. The beauty to my madness was that I knew I’d never allow myself to get strapped down to any one of them for too long – nobody except the one I was sure didn’t actually exist.
Then the day came when I was hit like a revolving door nicking my heel, causing me to trip up about the time I decided I was going to use it and then didn’t move in sync with the motion of its rhythm. She’d been right there, right in front of me, for most of my self-vexed life. She’d even stood back along the fringes of my bond-free destruction for the past handful of years, patiently waiting for me to come to my senses. Meanwhile, I’d tried every way I could to justify why she was all wrong for me. By the time I understood she was the epitome of everything I’d ever wanted, of everything right in my life, she vanished. She became every bit as intangible as I’d ever thought my phantasmal version of her was. Except…the more elusive she became, the more my desire to be with her was inflamed. As wretched as that sounds, the saddest part is, I gave up. Yep. I was too tired from chasing my own fantastical version of her and too complacent to pursue authenticity with her. I settled, instead. Funny word. Settling. You see, when you do it, there’s nothing very settling about it at all, is there?
Now, onto this week’s prompt. We’re still not totally spooked out by you guys yet and we’re a little way from Halloween proper so get your ghoul glad rags on again this week. If there’s anyone who puts the ghoul in ghoulish, it’s you lot. Have fun and, as always, make sure you use the THIRD definition. This week we are back to entries of 33-333 words.
1 a : something apparent to sense but with no substantial existence : APPARITION b : something elusive or visionary c : an object of continual dread or abhorrence
2 : something existing in appearance only
3 : a representation of something abstract, ideal, or incorporeal