All Abuzz at the Church Belles’ Social Luncheon

Overheard by a fly on the wall at the opening meeting of the

Handstitching Enthusiasts Ladies’ Luncheon:

“Calling to order the first meeting of….er…well, it seems first order of business, ladies, should be to establish an appropriate name for our little hand stitching club,” announced Margaret Dimwitty in her usual dictatorial tone. It didn’t take much more than a singular facet of a fly’s eye to understand who the first self-designated leader was to be.

“I’m voting for Hell’s Belles,” raised a hand and voice towards the back table (which was only one table back, mind you – where the fly hadn’t yet made it to sample dessert).

“Virginia Snodworthy! We absolutely can NOT call ourselves such a raucous name as that!”

“Meg, come down off that high horse of yours and join the rest of us. HELL is exactly what you named this luncheon today – despite the fact we’ve all had to keep our sweaters on so we don’t freeze to death.” Ethel Crabapple snidely slid the luncheon invitation across the table emblazoned with the acronym HELL boldly abstract within its title. All the women began snickering at the private printed joke that had already caused such a phone-tree stir. Any who weren’t widows had glibly announced to their confused husbands that’s where they were going that day.

“I’ll have you know I did no such thing!” protested Margaret, chin held high with indignation. “Not on purpose anyway….”

“Cut the act, Meg,” Lorna Tidwinkle chimed in. “You know exactly what we need to call this little club of ours. The SNB Society.”

“SNB Society? Whatever on earth does that stand for, Lorna?”

Another burst of laughter erupted throughout the room, causing the fly to move in closer, onto the top of a chunk of leftover chicken salad, curious himself to gather new meaning and nourishment.

“You know good and well what it means, Margaret Dimwitty. And I hereby nominate you as President of the Stitch ‘n Bitch Society.”

This announcement created quite the buzz.

______________________________________________

If you ever feel the need to hang out with an unruly crowd, Hell’s Belles (a.k.a. the SNB) could probably show up Hell’s Angels during one of their monthly get-togethers. At the very least, the Belles would enforce respectful behavior (from everyone but themselves anyway! LOL)

I’m dedicating this 333-worded response to the ladies at our church who have many times referred to themselves, off the record of course, by some less-than-righteous pet names. I figure, who am I to argue? Come to think of it, I have yet to see anything they’ve ever actually sewn…  😉

This week’s one-word prompt was suggested to us by the amazing LittleWonder.

CLUB
1a : a heavy usually tapering staff especially of wood wielded as a weapon
b : a stick or bat used to hit a ball in any of various games
c : something resembling a club
2a : a playing card marked with a stylized figure of a black clover
b : plural but sing or plural in constr : the suit comprising cards marked with clubs
3a : an association of persons for some common object usually jointly supported and meeting periodically; also : a group identified by some common characteristic <nations in the nuclear club>  

Please remember:

  • Your response must be between 33 and 333 words.
  • You must use the 3rd definition of the given word in your post.
  • The word itself needs to be included in your response.
  • You may not use a variation of the word; it needs to be exactly as stated above.
  • Only one entry per writer.
  • If you know your post does not meet the requirements of the challenge, please leave your link in the comments section, not in the linkz.
  • Trifecta is open to everyone.  Please join us.

– See more at: http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/#sthash.yTkWYDDe.dpuf

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23 thoughts on “All Abuzz at the Church Belles’ Social Luncheon

  1. it’s perfect and funny, and snide. I love that they actually exist!

    I’m sure the stories at their meetings are the stuff of southern legend. I might join the fly.

    hope you’re having a good week Jody, I miss you

  2. Very funny! My father used to refer to my grandmothers bingo pals as the “blue-rinse brigade”. They’d cut you a new one if you looked at them funny!

  3. Hilarious, jody! I love these ladies. I’d like to join their club when I’m their age. Though I can’t knit or stitch, I sure can bitch. Nicely written!

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