“What are you so deep in thought about, Sue?”
“Oh, I’m sitting here contemplating the complex mind of the male species…”
“I’m fairly certain you’re overcomplicating matters. I mean, the very fact that you believe they could be an entire species unto themselves…”
“Boobs…”
“Is what they think of, or what you’re naming their species? I need a little more to go on…”
“That’s all Mark ever thinks about. My boobs. And maybe football.”
“Did you ask him that…what he was thinking about?”
“Yeah, but he just glances down at my chest and mumbles, ‘Nothing…’.”
“Maybe that’s really what he’s thinking about when you ask…nothing. People can get pedantic like that, given a chance. And why are you complaining if their your boobs?”
“Katie, do you need something? Because you’re not really helping.”
“Boobs.”
“Excuse me?”
“According to you, I need boobs – if men are going to be thinking about me.”
“I didn’t say they’d be thinking about you, Kate. Just your boobs.”
“Good enough. Look, Sue, you’re convoluting this. Go to a game. Take your boobs. Talk to Mark instead of wondering what he’s thinking. If he says nothing, give him something to think about.”
“Oh, I forgot. You’re the expert on this topic.”
“I am sociologically versed on what you call the male species concerning War and Sexual Selection Theories. You want Markcelot to sweep you off your feet like a hairy girl when his biology tells him to woo you long enough to cause your boobs to swell, then go off to war to protect your other assets. Football’s about as aggressive as he’s allowed to get in that cozy recliner. And who else is there to battle besides the mid-forties bulge? Give the poor guy a break.”
“Give him a break? And my dreams?”
“Go get in a good psychological nap, sis. Statistical odds say you have a 67% better chance of dreaming than him anyway. If that doesn’t work, try a romance novel.”
“Katie…you’re the boob!”
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The “Retro Lazy-Boy Stylish 880 recliner” image (circa 70’s) that I’ve personally entitled
“Catering to Your Man’s Dreams…”
is located at:
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4066/4518189734_d1048483c5.jpg
humanTriumphant 
Everyone loves boobehs (: This little story made me laugh.
that makes my day, Draug. Wish I could hear it 😀
Commenting on this post is like defusing a bomb or walking through a minefield. I’ve known women who used their chest to give them power and influence and I have known women who were deeply offended when they were judged by their breasts and not for the person they were inside. Conversely, I’ve known men who were obsessed with boobies and some who didn’t care at all. It takes all types to make up this world of ours. I think that you have captured these conflicting views well in your story. So, the real question, Jody, for you is this: if we were ever to meet, at a Trifecta Meet Up, for example, would you be happier being greeted by me with, “Hey! Nice rack!” Or would you rather I look deeply into your soul and admire your mind? It reminds me of the famous male movie star quote to his female co-star regarding filming a love scene together, “I apologize if I get an erection. I apologize if I don’t.” 🙂
you mean it’s only an either/or response, Tom? That’s a little disappointing! LOL Love the quote – it depicts how men can’t win for losing. 😉
“The complex mind of the male species”? From where I’m sitting we’re not very complex at all! Good write!
but you’re always entertaining! I can’t imagine my life without all its male influences – it would be dull, indeed 🙂
Joe’s comment cracked me up because I had the same thought 🙂 I don’t have to ask my husband what he’s thinking. Food, boobies and golf pretty much covers it 🙂 (Poor guy, I am exaggerating a little. Just a little…)
sounds like a new movie title, Janna – Eats, sleeps, golfs (and boobs)
Reblogged this on The Cheese Whines and commented:
When I was younger, I was very hung up on the male obsession with breasts and the fact that mine are quite modest. I was planning to have enhancement when I hit eighteen. Fortunately, I came to the realization that first of all, my moderate endowment gets in the way as it is–what the hell do I need with bigger ones? And second, I really don’t like being leered at and treated as a sex object. Why would I want to draw even more unwanted attention to myself?
Obsession with breasts is stupid. This story is, however, amusing.
wow, thanks for sharing some great thoughts (and the post) – and know that I’m ecstatic you enjoyed it 🙂
Fun read. A co-worker once told me that she didn’t wear shirts with emblems or logos… because she didn’t like people reading her chest. I was left to smile and nod.
You should’ve gotten her one of those that said something like, “my eyes are up here” 😉
Most men can actually think about more than .. what was it now….boobs and boobs … so this was a story about boobs 🙂
🙂