Going Retro: On Men…and Boobs

“What are you so deep in thought about, Sue?”

“Oh, I’m sitting here contemplating the complex mind of the male species…”

“I’m fairly certain you’re overcomplicating matters. I mean, the very fact that you believe they could be an entire species unto themselves…”

“Boobs…”

“Is what they think of, or what you’re naming their species? I need a little more to go on…”

“That’s all Mark ever thinks about. My boobs. And maybe football.”

“Did you ask him that…what he was thinking about?”

“Yeah, but he just glances down at my chest and mumbles, ‘Nothing…’.”

“Maybe that’s really what he’s thinking about when you ask…nothing. People can get pedantic like that, given a chance. And why are you complaining if their your boobs?”

“Katie, do you need something? Because you’re not really helping.”

“Boobs.”

“Excuse me?”

“According to you, I need boobs – if men are going to be thinking about me.”

“I didn’t say they’d be thinking about you, Kate. Just your boobs.”

“Good enough. Look, Sue, you’re convoluting this. Go to a game. Take your boobs. Talk to Mark instead of wondering what he’s thinking. If he says nothing, give him something to think about.”

“Oh, I forgot. You’re the expert on this topic.”

“I am sociologically versed on what you call the male species concerning War and Sexual Selection Theories. You want Markcelot to sweep you off your feet like a hairy girl when his biology tells him to woo you long enough to cause your boobs to swell, then go off to war to protect your other assets. Football’s about as aggressive as he’s allowed to get in that cozy recliner. And who else is there to battle besides the mid-forties bulge? Give the poor guy a break.”

“Give him a break? And my dreams?”

“Go get in a good psychological nap, sis. Statistical odds say you have a 67% better chance of dreaming than him anyway. If that doesn’t work, try a romance novel.”

“Katie…you’re the boob!”

______________________________________________
And the prompt for Trifecta Week Seventy-Eight is: BOOBS.  Okay, not really.
This week’s word comes from Karen is Muttering:
: of, relating to, or being a pedant(see pedant)
: narrowly, stodgily, and often ostentatiously learned

Please remember:

  • Your response must be between 33 and 333 words.
  • You must use the 3rd definition of the given word in your post.
  • The word itself needs to be included in your response.
  • You may not use a variation of the word; it needs to be exactly as stated above.
  • Only one entry per writer.
  • If you know your post does not meet the requirements of the challenge, please leave your link in the comments section, not in the linkz.
  • Trifecta is open to everyone.  Please join us.

This week’s challenge is community judged.

  • For the 14 hours following the close of the challenge, voting will be enabled on links.
  • In order to vote, return to this post where stars will appear next to each link.  To vote, simply click the star that corresponds with your favorite post.
  • You can vote for your top three favorite posts.
  • Voting is open to everyone. Encourage your friends to vote for you, if you wish, but please don’t tell them to vote on a number.  The numbering of the posts changes regularly, as authors have the ability to delete their own links at any time.
  • You have 14 hours to vote.  It’s not much time, so be diligent! We’ll send out reminders on Twitter and Facebook.

________________________________________________

The “Retro Lazy-Boy Stylish 880 recliner” image (circa 70’s) that I’ve personally entitled

Catering to Your Man’s Dreams…”

is located at: 

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4066/4518189734_d1048483c5.jpg

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14 thoughts on “Going Retro: On Men…and Boobs

  1. Commenting on this post is like defusing a bomb or walking through a minefield. I’ve known women who used their chest to give them power and influence and I have known women who were deeply offended when they were judged by their breasts and not for the person they were inside. Conversely, I’ve known men who were obsessed with boobies and some who didn’t care at all. It takes all types to make up this world of ours. I think that you have captured these conflicting views well in your story. So, the real question, Jody, for you is this: if we were ever to meet, at a Trifecta Meet Up, for example, would you be happier being greeted by me with, “Hey! Nice rack!” Or would you rather I look deeply into your soul and admire your mind? It reminds me of the famous male movie star quote to his female co-star regarding filming a love scene together, “I apologize if I get an erection. I apologize if I don’t.” 🙂

  2. Joe’s comment cracked me up because I had the same thought 🙂 I don’t have to ask my husband what he’s thinking. Food, boobies and golf pretty much covers it 🙂 (Poor guy, I am exaggerating a little. Just a little…)

  3. Reblogged this on The Cheese Whines and commented:
    When I was younger, I was very hung up on the male obsession with breasts and the fact that mine are quite modest. I was planning to have enhancement when I hit eighteen. Fortunately, I came to the realization that first of all, my moderate endowment gets in the way as it is–what the hell do I need with bigger ones? And second, I really don’t like being leered at and treated as a sex object. Why would I want to draw even more unwanted attention to myself?
    Obsession with breasts is stupid. This story is, however, amusing.

  4. Fun read. A co-worker once told me that she didn’t wear shirts with emblems or logos… because she didn’t like people reading her chest. I was left to smile and nod.

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