My heart has pined away, oh endless time.
Its beat set on you, hour by hour.
In your presence, it doubtless is sublime.
O’er me, you hold immense untold power.
Take me, my brother, as your will you find.
I long to hear your love for me; I know
In brooding, the words you speak – oft unkind
And see the unlikely measure you show
For me. You bring broken hopes, dreams shattered
All which I must hide upon my back shelf.
In your eyes, what part of me has mattered?
Only that which fed greater your own self.
Towards me, your heart assuredly lies dead.
Thus, dost your visage dwell, I surely dread.
© 2013 jody love
What better way to celebrate than with a sonnet?
For those of you less familiar (and interested), a Sonnet involves particular poetic formatting. Traditionally, a sonnet possesses 14 lines, each containing 10 syllables. The ‘rules’ can then become even more particular, such as writing our sonnet to be read in iambic pentameter (10 beats per line, alternating between stressed and unstressed syllables – though in this case, I think my sonnet above becomes more contemporary in sound, better built towards the iambic pentameter as an ending crescendo, if at all. I would personally allow my scorned subject to vacillate between softer brokenness mixed in amongst her angered realization. Since you’re the reader, you become her voice; thus, you ultimately get to decide!)
I applied the traditional Shakespearean rhyme scheme and progression of quatrains as:
Though the quatrains are hidden from those not looking, each one has its defined purpose, according to ‘rule’ but also according to whom your passions are being directed.
1st Quatrain (the 1st 4 lines) – establishes the subject. It is not, per se, ‘my heart’ as you might first be led to believe. The fourth line’s beginning, “O’er me,” gives away the sonnet’s most truly adored subject – and will be repeated throughout all other quatrains: “Take me,” “For me,” “Towards me.” The speaker is your narcissistic subject (which is the irony of the sonnet, according to her accusations).
2nd Quatrain (lines 5-8) – serves to develop the theme. Again, don’t mistake the “brother” for the subject. (She’s stuck calling him this because he refuses to be a suitable lover.) He merely serves as the object of the speaker’s affection – her theme. (At least, that’s how I see it, as I inspect the allegations more closely. But we’re not given the full story, particularly not “his” side of things, are we?) Okay, yes, I was the one who wrote it. But love is surely just as much a mystery to me!
3rd Quatrain (lines 9-13) – extends and rounds off the theme. (She’s still upset with him. I’ll bet you got that!)
4th Quatrain (which is a 4th stanza, but doesn’t meet the criteria of a usual quatrain of 4 lines in a stanza. It, instead, consists of the final 2 lines) – always the conclusion – and our speaker seems to have come to the only sensible one she can muster. (Though it might be more sensible for her to avoid his visage altogether!)
Emotions and logic are always at battle for the heart, though, are they not?
I’d love to hear your take (as you take in this sonnet and take on this subject) and how you might personally view the matter. (The most wonderful part of poetry is that it’s filtered through the lenses of our own experience and our experience with the sonnet itself – so there are no right or wrong answers to this.) 🙂
This sonnet was written in response to this week’s Trifecta challenge. (The “lesson” – my Valentine’s gift to lovers wishing to write their own sonnet – may simply be disregarded, at your will.) This week’s word is:
- Your response must be between 33 and 333 words.
- You must use the 3rd definition of the given word in your post.
- The word itself needs to be included in your response.
- You may not use a variation of the word; it needs to be exactly as stated above.
- Only one entry per writer.
- Trifecta is open to everyone. Please join us.