One of the Daily Post Challenges from WordPress this week was a worthy topic, as it was meant to strengthen self-editing abilities. It was entitled Slash & Burn and the challenge was as follows:
Write 500 words on any topic you like. Now remove 250 of them without changing the essence of your post.
I think this should be considered a worthy challenge for someone with a tagline that sometimes reads, “Daring to Defy the Law of Brevity.” What do you think? Can I be triumphant at this?
It was an illustrious new morning, with a glorious sun that paraded itself flamboyantly across the horizon, greeting me with the gift of a dazzling blue sky. My ears awakened anew to the padding of my liberated bare feet across the cool tiles that were anticipating the warmth they’d soon gather from the sun’s rays that had begun to dance upon them, teasing the other shaded tiles still hidden from this desired union to come. My body eagerly rocked back and forth, it also anticipative of the coffee that had not yet finished brewing. Could it be that my alarm clock had beaten the timer setting of my coffee maker in the midst of their busy morning race to prepare me for a day just as delicious as the scent wafting into my nostrils? I glided across the floor, gathering up items with which to prepare a healthy and satisfying morning meal, as I knew it was the most important nourishment of the day to assure my body had the energy it needed to face all the wonderful experiences the world had, each waiting to be offered to me on a banquet platter. I was oblivious to the effortlessness of which any observer would’ve attested that I moved throughout my sparkling kitchen, bringing together a colorful and tasty meal in only minutes with minimal mess. As I daintily chewed each bite, at least 20 times, I engaged myself in an internal monologue, satisfied that I was able to be an entertaining hostess even when finding myself in the midst of a singular, one-sided conversation. It was so refreshing to realize I had discovered no need to be co-dependent any longer upon a dull relationship that would have otherwise gone absolutely nowhere. Okay, admittedly, it had gone somewhere. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have had to pack away the only piece of jewelry that had persistently weighed down my left hand for the past 5 years, threatening to remove all remaining signs of me, as it juxtaposed my name with the burdensome attachment of his. I straightened my posture and gave myself a pep talk as I cleared the table, leaving it looking pristine and untouched. My brain emphasized how it was forbidding my heart from being forlorn over a reasonably solid, logical decision, one in which I’d been forthright about my relational superiority from the very beginning. This is how I could be so assured of my decision on the day I asked him to leave, and even more resolute when I’d turned my back on him while putting pen to paper and re-signing myself to my original nomenclature. I’d been just as sure of the decision to unharness myself then as I was positive now that I was receiving an invitation from today’s delightful weather to come join it outside in play. I skidded towards a refreshing shower that was awaiting my exposed appearance, joyfully serenading my choices within my head – just before I heard the loud boom of thunder outside.
Slashed 250-word version:
Okay, morning came – again. The sky was blue. So what? So was I. My cold bare feet jumped over to the tiles that the sun was warming. “Crap, the coffee’s not done? Who’s been screwing with the alarm clock? I could’ve slept another 5 minutes!” I popped a frozen biscuit in the microwave, squirting some honey over it before slapping it on a paper towel. I reached around and grabbed a swig of coffee, cursing from here to China when I burnt my tongue. It dawned on me that nobody else could’ve screwed up the alarm clock, since nobody else had been near my bedroom for the past 99 years. (Okay, it had been 4 months and 3 days, but who was counting?) It sucked to be going to bed alone, to be sitting down to breakfast alone. To be…wait. Wasn’t I unstrapped? Shouldn’t I feel free? My left thumb slid around to my empty ring finger on that same hand. “Oh, you were so sure you knew what you were doing. No backing out now, big girl. That means don’t cry either.” It was time to take my lumps. I was free. He, on the other hand, was already working on getting reattached. A couple of more cuss words slipped from my mouth as I dropped the sticky mess of paper towel while scattering crumbs all across the table and floor. I went and stood in the shower until the storm passed.