HALLOWEEN is creeping up on us.
This seems like an appropriate time to issue some vital
LIFE WARNINGS –
Let’s call them Terrestrial Training.
(I’ll limit them to 3 to keep us focused.)
BEWARE of those foul sorts who show up at ball stadiums and parks across our country, known as fair-weathered fans. These vampirish types are to the ‘sports kingdom’ what a parasite is to the plant kingdom. They’ll cling tightly to a host team while the host is vibrant and lively. When the host is feeling worn down from giving all it has to give, the parasitic fan will suck the final life out, then creep away to cling to another host team, despising the one who fed it for so long.
BEWARE of alien beings who are constantly making extravagant claims about their lives or towards you. Carl Sagan had a fairly decent rule of thumb: “Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.” Such claims with weak evidence in the scientific world are classified as “quack science.” It should go without saying, then, what we might use for classification of characters of such ‘extraordinary’ measure.
BEWARE of monstrous middle school parents who rent Hummer limos for their beastly kids’ 8th grade dance. If you’re one of these extravagant creatures, I’ll be more than happy to introduce you to some people who are starving to death in the world and could use some of that frivolous spending — because you aren’t going to be able to buy any common sense with it.
As the week draws to an end (though it felt more like it scribbled), I thought I’d have some fun with the Daily Post ‘Weekly Challenge.’ I also thought things like:
What are the due dates on these things anyway?
Do points get deducted for late assignments?
Can I get placed in ‘Wordpress detention’?
The challenge was to try composing something completely new & different in my personal little Blogosphere – to write about something unlike what I usually might.
Since I’ve only been in this time-warped world for a whopping one month, that description seemed a little vague to an amateur newbie like me…though I’m sure it made sense to all you professional bloggers out there.
To meet this challenge, I decided I would become an Advice Columnist. Now, I feel the advice I’ve dispensed here is quite solid, mind you; but the idea to advise seems a far-fetched stretch to me, since no one I know ever listens to anything I say.
‘What’s that,’ you say?
If you’re still listening, here’s the link to the challenge if you’d like to give it a whirl:
or take this shortcut
…but if your assignment’s late and you have to sit in detention, don’t blame me!
(You might, however, strongly suspect that I didn’t want to be there alone.)